One Sovereign Family

Not all family constellations look the same. Mine certainly doesn't. When the posts float around that beg you to post a picture of "the day you became a mother" or "the baby who made you a mother first" I always find myself a bit uncomfortable. How is motherhood defined specifically? Conception, adoption day, the day you meet your step child, the birth of your first? All of these answers are correct, of course, and sometimes it's nice to talk about how blended families or "non-nuclear families" look. The day I first became a mother might have been May 1st, 2016: the day Brian and I got our first apartment with Celeste. When I took over the roles of getting her fed, on the bus, homework done, hair brushed, etc. Or maybe it was that Mother's Day when I received my first Mother's Day gift. I've always answered this question with two pieces: 1st, I became a mother the day Celeste called me "Mom", and 2nd, the day I gave birth to EJ a little over a year later. When most people think about the "beginning of motherhood" they picture diapers, sleepless nights, baby snuggles, and nap times; but my journey into motherhood started with a hand-designed mother's day grocery bag, volleyball practice, and figuring out the perfect braids. How did your journey begin?

This explanation of what Kathleen was to me during our prenatal visits and postpartum is what enabled me to lean into the birthwork calling. I had known I'd want to work in the birth sphere, but doula companies and their requirements, midwifery and the medical lens that comes with it; these things all felt wrong to me. I understood that I would know in my bones when I found "it", and that those things weren't that. But when I really understood the type of space, support, and lens of community that Kathleen offered me, I just knew. I wanted to be this for other women. And because of this statement of being the mirror, it has been really hard to answer your stereotypical entrepreneur questions: "Why do people need this service? Why do people need *you* for this service?" Because women have the power within them to do all that I offer. I am the mirror that reflects a mother's intuition back to them. But I will not ever tell women that they need me. What women need is the choice to have someone to hold space in integrity for them. What women need is choice, and I provide an option. So my focus is highlighting that intuition that I would reflect, coupled with exposing the lies about the "lack of capacity" birthing women seem to have within the mainstream narrative. Women are powerful. Women have choices. Women are intuitive. And there are women out there willing to remind you of that when you feel you need it most.