Always HOPE

Fall…
Into sadness
Out of sense
Into trauma
Out of calm
Into uncertainty
Out of rhythm
Into anxiety
Out of control
Into sorrow
Out of comfort
Into panic
Out of what is normal
Into what is a bad dream
Often

But what if…
What if we could

Fall…
Softly landing
With gentleness for possibilities we don’t know of yet?
With grace in honoring what we didn’t and don’t know how to navigate yet or still.
With forgiveness for the ways we let ourselves down
Or our child

With perspective that the magnitude of “what is” is often more palpable and tolerable than “what if”

With a whisper, often difficult to circumvent with such panicky noise around us, that says…

HOPE

I love everything about autumn… I do! Its beauty sucks me in. And there is also pain and sadness and a longing that hold me today. Can’t quite put my finger on it other than the rough week it’s been and a yearning for a calm and safety we can’t be promised. I promise to try to stand tall and sturdy like the Oak waiting for the better days, if you do.

Please remember you’re not alone.

This is grief. This is sadness. This is anger. This is remorse. Regret. Wishing for what won’t be- can’t be- longing for something better for her. Longing for who she could be and may not be. Regretting parenting choices while trying to forgive myself… trying to be gentle to myself for what I didn’t know… didn’t understand…. Couldn’t see… didn’t want to see…. This is being a Mom whose child suffers in a cage of mental illness she screams for me to release her from; stretching her hand out to me through the bars of her brain, pleading to the Universe to let her go. Her sentence is life.

This is therapy.
I’m told there is hope in it. I hope so.

I strongly recommend you do the same if you can.

Always hope.
💚

Remember that you are not alone. Remember that you cannot do this alone; find support for yourself, too! Remember that your child is more than their illness. Remember that mental illness doesn’t define you or your loved one. Remember that there are people who are suffering alongside you. You are NOT alone in this darkness. Remember your child CAN heal…CAN recover…CAN overcome…CAN make choices toward growth… CAN have a brighter tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, maybe the next day or month or year. Remember to breathe. To hold on… and to hope. Sending love 💚