Diane Payne Coaching

When Your Child’s Emotions Become Your Own
It’s natural for us moms to feel our kids' big emotions, especially with ADHD. Our first instinct is often to stop the meltdown, but that rarely works.

Think of it like this: If your child broke their arm, you wouldn't tell them they're okay and expect the pain to stop. They're in an uncomfortable, uncontrollable moment, and so are you. As a mom, you're biologically wired to be affected by their pain—that's your "fight or flight" response kicking in.

This isn’t an excuse, but it is an explanation. You don't need to feel guilty about your initial reaction. Instead of trying to stop the emotion, create a new habit of riding the waves of that energy.

Got a kid who won’t leave you alone? No problem. You can process any emotion in that moment, wherever you are. Including them in the process is a win-win!

Will it prevent future meltdowns? No, but it will empower you to bring emotional regulation to any situation, whether it’s once a day or 100 times. The more you redirect, the faster you'll get, and the less time you'll spend in intense emotions.

I've created a printable for your fridge that walks you through 5 simple steps of emotional regulation. I'd love to share it with you!
DM me if you're interested.

Change your view, change your life. 🌟 We're often so focused on what's wrong in our current life that we miss what's right.

The "two-sided coin" perspective:
➡️ One side: Your current life, with its challenges and frustrations, you seem to be stuck in.
⬅️ The other side: Your ideal life, seemingly perfect and problem-free when you get there.

But what if both sides have a little of everything?
💡 There's always good in your current life, even with ADHD challenges and pain.
💡 Your "ideal" life will still have its own set of problems.

📣 Great news!
No more waiting for something or someone to be different to enjoy life in the present.

I get the "Things will be better when...phrases we tell ourselves to help us stay in the fight.

At one point, I was sure the answer was to hold on, because things would be better when they turned 18 and moved out.

😱Yikes! How grim!
Robbed of cherished memories and opportunities with my kids because I was looking into the future with unrealistic optimism or no optimism at all.🔮

I'm not asking you to Pollyanna life, but raising an ADHD child or even having it yourself doesn't have to feel like a prison sentence either.

What effort and possible growth did you see in yourself or your kid(s) today? 📈
Remember, the Sheriff of Nottingham said, "Every little bit helps!"

Want to explore this more? DM me and let's connect on a free, no-obligation call to see if ADHD parent coaching is for you.

✨ If I could go back and tell my younger self and my mom ONE thing about ADHD, it wouldn’t be about attention—it would be about BIG FEELINGS.

The fits, the whining, the endless arguing… it wasn’t “drama.” It wasn’t spoiled behavior. And it wasn’t something I could just turn off.

💔 The truth? Nobody wanted control over those emotions more than I did.
What we didn’t know then is that intense emotions and impulsive reactions are HUGE (and often overlooked) signs of ADHD.

We didn’t know how to stop them.
We didn’t know how to deal with them in healthy ways.

👉 Can you relate from your own childhood—or are you parenting a child with big emotions right now?
Drop your experience in the comments or message me. I’d love to connect. 💌