Maleah Jacobs Intuitive Consultant
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Intuitive Advantage | Sports, Entertainment, Media & Medicine.
03/03/2025
A Man Tolerated Me Last Night. Please Respect His Privacy During This Difficult Time.
I once had a man tell me I was being tolerated.
And by once, I mean last night.
And obviously, I’m great at letting things go.
I’ve been thinking about it all night, all morning, and now, in the clear light of day, I’ve decided to write a novella about it.
Because, apparently, my greatest crime isn’t being wrong, uninformed, or dull.
It’s being a lot.
Like a waiter who squats down to take your order unprompted.
Like a voicemail that starts with “Hey… so…” and then pauses for a full five seconds.
Like a text from an unknown number that just says “hey.”
Like a single car on the 405 Freeway going the speed limit in the fast lane.
Like a rogue shopping cart in the grocery store parking lot at three o’clock in the morning that only steadily moves when I walk past it.
After this very important revelation, he proceeded to tell me, over and over, that the PA was good at tolerating me.
I paused.
Tolerating me?
And then he said it again.
“Yeah, he was really good at tolerating you.”
And, because he wanted to make sure I got the point, he circled back to it a third time.
“I mean, you know a lot about stuff, and you could come off as intense.”
Ah. There it is. The magic words.
You could come off as intense.
The phrase that has followed women like a stray dog since the dawn of time.
Like a foghorn in a library.
Like a jazz band at a funeral.
Like a fire alarm that won’t shut off—urgent, unignorable, impossible to ignore.
Like a glass of whiskey at a kids’ birthday party—somehow inappropriate just for existing in the room.
Like a lit match in a room full of men who smell like gasoline and bad decisions.
The phrase that tells you the problem isn’t that you’re smart, capable, or engaged—it’s that you won’t downplay it.
But let’s get real here: that wasn’t a neutral statement. That was a backhanded insult disguised as an observation. A way to tell me I was difficult, but with plausible deniability.
If I had said, Excuse me? he could have easily backpedaled—Oh, I didn’t mean it like that. But he did mean it like that. Because if he meant it as a compliment, he wouldn’t have said “tolerate.”
Nobody tolerates something they enjoy. You don’t say, “Wow, I really tolerated that delicious meal.” You don’t say, “God, I just love tolerating my best friend.” You don’t look at someone you find fascinating and say, “The best thing about you is how easy you are to endure.”
No. Tolerating someone is what you do when they annoy you, but you’re too polite to say it outright.
See, if I had said nothing? I’d be uninformed. If I had been unsure? I’d be weak. If I had dumbed it down? I’d be sweet. Manageable. Tolerable.
And yet, I was none of those things.
I was knowledgeable, clear, and present. And to him, that made me a lot. Too much.
And here’s what I realized: “Too much” is only a problem when you’re talking to someone with too little to offer.”
When a man says “She’s intense” or “She’s a lot,” what he’s really saying is: “She requires a level of engagement I am unwilling or unable to give.” “She doesn’t contort herself into a more convenient shape for me.” “She knows things, and it makes me self-conscious.”
It’s not a compliment (obviously), but it’s not really an insult, either. It’s a confession.
A confession that he doesn’t have the range.
Because here’s the truth: the right people don’t tolerate you. They meet you. They rise to the occasion. They see what you bring and match it.
They engage. They respond. They think.
And most importantly, they don’t need to diminish you in order to feel good about themselves.
If a man ever tells you you’re a lot? Smile. Nod. And then ask yourself:
“Am I really too much… or is he just small?”
Because trust me—the ones who are big enough for you won’t say that sh*t.
They’ll be grateful for your intelligence. They’ll be interested in your perspective. They’ll want to hear you, not endure you.
And if they can’t?
Well.
Coincidentally, I’m adding “Tolerable” as a new skill on LinkedIn.
I’m done making it easier.
12/18/2024
The Grace & Grit of Surviving Uncertainty, Chaos, & Overwhelm
(Even When Surrounded by As****es Rooting for You to Fail)
Let’s not sugarcoat it: uncertainty, chaos, and overwhelm aren’t poetic challenges wrapped in metaphors—they’re a relentless, messy slog. They’re the mornings when the weight on your chest feels heavier than gravity should allow. The nights when your brain runs laps around every decision you’ve ever made, whispering, “What if they’re right? What if I can’t do this?”
And then there’s the chorus. Oh, the chorus. The doubters, the critics, the as****es sitting front and center, practically begging for you to fall flat on your face. They’re not just rooting against you—they’ve got popcorn.
But here’s where grace and grit collide.
Grace is what keeps you soft when the world gets sharp. It’s what lets you breathe through the chaos, stay kind when it would be easier to snap, and hold onto hope even when it feels like the ground is crumbling beneath you. Grace is the part of you that knows the chaos won’t last forever—even if it feels like it will.
And grit? Grit is what gets you back up. It’s what fuels you when every ounce of energy is spent, when the as****es are louder than your cheerleaders, and when it would be so much easier to quit. Grit is saying, “Watch me.” Not in spite of them, but because of them. Because their doubt is the fire that lights your path.
To survive this? You don’t have to be fearless, flawless, or have all the answers. You just have to keep going. Keep showing up. Keep pushing forward when every nerve in your body screams to stop.
Uncertainty doesn’t mean you’re failing. Chaos doesn’t mean you’re lost. And overwhelm doesn’t mean you’re not strong enough. They’re just part of the process. And every time you keep going, you’re proving that grace and grit aren’t just words—they’re weapons.
So let them watch. Let them root against you. They’re expecting you to break. Instead, give them a front-row seat to the moment you rise.
You’re not just surviving—you’re building something extraordinary. And one day, those same as****es will be asking how you did it.
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My Story
Helping elite performers win at the game of life without sacrificing health or wealth to achieve the ultimate success and satisfaction of a life well lived, all while inspiring others to do the same.
Author of the upcoming book...
As Above, So Below
What That Really Means So You Can Use It to Live The Life of Your Dreams
The INTUIDIVA Way
Because RISING up doesn’t have to hurt.
Maleah Jacobs upgrades lives and stock portfolios, she elucidates and resolves court cases, aids in stopping human trafficking, and radically expands the amount of BLISS a human can experience and she shares this all over the world.
Her decades of experience as an Intuitive Life-Change Artist means quantum shifts in freedom and ease. She has a private practice, leads groups, retreats, writes, speaks and nomads around, with a charming houseboat as her home base, in the Pacific Northwest and beyond with her dear husband and his cello.
The newest addition (addiction?) to Maleah’s life is a stunning Warlander mare, Andromeda, aka “Lady An.” Maleah is an equestrian athlete who readily admits to being the “lesser half” of a competitive dressage duo.
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