seranine

here's last saturday's set

literally the one show i play every year hahaha

we're gonna change that, i think, but first i need to finish this latest layer of idk what. transformative mourning or something like that. unraveling and disentangling this specific section and layer of ctpsd. i'm clearly in between in some way to do with that, and i think that is the vitality people are really there to see.

objectively last year's set is probably tighter than this one, but also i'm less tense, here, and like. half alive almost, even. i keep coming in and out of it, you can see me laughing and smiling a lot. i'm really pleased with how the little fancy guitar solo bits are coming along.

i'm less pleased with my vocals this year, and also, literally that morning i had just been feeling some kind of much deeper release of tension in my vocal warm-up. so, there's a sort of liminality to that, too, which, again... like. it's perfect imperfection. the thing that lets people know it's live. blossoming, not in bloom. that has its own kind of beauty.

more than anything, i came off the stage thinking, okay, i notice i do this every time, i'm cataloging all these technical errors, i'm mortified about my voice, et blah blah blah, right? but it's more distant this year, in a kind of spiritual quarantine. it's still there and i'm still aware of it, but i'm not really in it. it's a landmark, not the land.

so, i pay much more attention to whatever feedback i get from the actual audience, instead, and also give that feedback the weight of presence. it's an echo of my mom, which, granted, is VERY distorted after bouncing around in here for decades, but, an echo nonetheless, vs. real people right there with me, and. they're just louder. if i'm listening, anyway.

and finally, i note the meta pattern of that. what's the feedback after i play always been? even when i wasn't really listening? and it's just. a torrent of praise. nobody cares where i was flat or when i flubbed a chord. what they care about is getting more. they love this, they love that, am i playing anywhere else in town soon, do i have any records they can check out, and all this.

every time.

live acoustic 6/27/2026 charity fundraiser show in support of single spark seattle. all son...