Dr. Debbie Ribera

In a perfect world immersion in nature would be an essential part of therapy and allllll of our kids would have the chance to access nature through the standard public education curriculum. Imagine?!
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I just spent an incredible 5 days in Sedona, Arizona. Nature grounds me, centers me, renews me, and restores me in a way nothing else can. Immersing myself in the natural world connects me to my spirit. When I’m walking these paths I feel safe and held. Those red rock energy vortexes definitely worked their magic on me!
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I always say that our national/regional parks and forests are the best things the US has to offer the world. Please, please do whatever you can to advocate for the preservation of these lands. We have done so much damage to the earth, the least we can do is faithfully steward the lands we have already committed to preserving.
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Bonus pic from my first time in Sedona 3 years ago, hiking w Russ!

If you have a therapist, please know that they are likely deeply grateful for you. In fact, I sit in gratitude, hands over heart, after all my sessions, just in awe that I can witness these lives, these hearts.

Sometimes I can’t believe I even get paid to be a therapist (but I'm so thankful I do!). This is me getting ready to celebrate a client’s birthday today 😆 Practicing therapy feels like an absolute gift in my life. It challenges me in all the right ways. My clients endlessly inspire me and I learn from them in truly meaningful ways every single week.

I've at times had a fraught relationship with my therapist identity. Therapist burnout is real! I’ve been through it numerous times and of course it could come for me again. But for now, I’m good. For me, burnout has never been the fault of clients being "too hard." It's been the fault of dysfunctional systems and me, myself, and I. I’ve had to make a lot of tough decisions to get to a place where I can practice sustainably. To be therapy-ready (the way I need to be, which is not everyone’s way!) I have to radically prioritize myself. It takes a lot of intention, time, and effort. I’m always working on balance. Always!

I still clearly remember my very first session with my very first client as a Marriage and Family Therapist trainee. I still have a note and bandana in my office from the very first student I ever saw as a school counseling intern. So many children, families, and adults have left their mark on my heart over the years. I carry you all with me, truly! I am in disbelief that I’ve been practicing for so long, but I’m proof that after 20 years in this profession (in varrrrrious roles), you can still find passion. I am endlessly grateful for what I see as a sacred opportunity to participate in the lives of others. 💙💚💙💚

Beyond excited to share that I'll working as part of a team this year to produce a documentary about Life Club MMA, a sports mentoring and training program that uses mixed martial arts to help participants learn the values of consistency, sacrifice, and love. I'm going to do my best to live by their motto: ¡Esfuérzate y sé valiente!💪👊🫶

What is covert psychological abuse?
And what does it look like in the context of a relationship?
Of course being yelled at, called names, and humiliated in front of others are classic, straightforward examples of emotional/psychological abuse. But there are many other forms of abuse that are just as common. Hidden forms of abuse. Psychological manipulation, gaslighting, deceptive sexuality, deceit, omission, coercive control…the list goes on.
Psychological abusers will go to great lengths to obscure, defend, distract, and distort the reality of what’s happening. They routinely push victims into a forced choice. You either believe the abuser’s intentionally manipulated reality or you believe your own. If you have grown up in a narcissistic and/or alcoholic family, you are much less likely to trust your own gut instincts. This makes you the perfect target for a psychological abuser, as you trust their intentionally manipulated reality more than you trust yourself.
Covert psychological abuse is such an intentionally twisted psychological operation that it’s often not even understood as abuse to the victim until they are safely outside of the relationship. And although we know that psychological abuse can have just as severe effects as physical abuse (if not more), therapists, family, and friends will often minimize it and expect the victim to move past it with a little grit and a new dating profile. This only creates more trauma, more isolation, and more pain for victims. Victims of covert psychological abuse are often left with a sense of cognitive dissonance so severe it can cause life-threatening mental health issues.
I’ve created a list of vetted resources that can help anyone who is suffering from this and related types of abuse or knows someone who is. Many of these resources are also geared towards therapists, who are sadly woefully undereducated in this area. I hope it can help you, a friend, or a client. Stay safe, stay educated!
https://bit.ly/psychabuse

Psychological Abuse Resources.pdf