Walk Across America For Groats Disease

It's been two months since the 2025 Walk started and we have reached Hays, Kansas.

We were presented a $250,000 pledge from the Hays Chamber Of Commerce today, and treated to some of the best steak we have ever eaten! Ranchers tend to have a high propensity for Groats Disease, and they always treat us well, especially after we deliver our free counseling services and arrange for their beef to be purchased by PETA.

But Shhhh! Don't tell PETA that's it's beef. For more than a decade, we have been telling them that it's special harvested mushrooms with a secret sauce!

Our entertainment for the evening was provided by Johnny Gleason, who has won the "Hoarder Of The Year" Award for eight consecutive years. He has the world's largest knapsack collection in his basement.

Pictured below is part of the tour that he provided to us. He insists that he is not a hoarder, but one of the primary side effects of over-prescribing Groats Disease medications is ironically - Excessive knapsack hoarding.

Walk Across America For Groats Disease 2025 Has Begun!

From North Park in Springboro, Ohio, more than 4,000 supporters gave us a fantastic sendoff! All major networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and CNN) covered the event and conducted many interviews.

Our goal (for 15 years) is to raise as much money and awareness as possible, so we can some day eradicate Groats Disease and cure the dozens of persons worldwide that are sadly afflicted with the ailment.

Raising $300 million in 2025 is certainly a challenge, but we're off to a great start. In addition to the $10 million of early bird donations we have received, PETA has finally endorsed us and pledged $4 million last week.

Our feud with PETA finally ended, when we agreed to refer to them as "PETA," instead of "Pita Bread." We also agreed to end our annual "Amateur Veterinarian Week," which always resulted in thousands of consumer complaints.

We always begin our Walk in Springboro, and end the Walk in Hermosa Beach approximately eight months later. Our annual stop in Las Vegas typically results in hundreds of thousands of dollars in gambling losses, but we're confident we will trim a few hundred dollars from that amount this year.

Thank you to the millions of supporters worldwide that fund our Walk. And yes...WE still love wax lips and beef jerky, so keep sending it our way!

Hello Denver!

It's beautiful today (about 67 degrees) in the Mile High City! We were greeted last night by the City staff and presented with a key to the city, a $250,000 pledge to Groats Disease research, and a pair of socks worn by John Elway in a game vs. the Raiders!

We visited with one of the world's oldest living Groats Disease survivors (Lloyd B Freedman) who turned 98 last week. He claims he has lived this long buy eating just one food - carrots!

Of course, Lloyd has suffered from typical Groats symptoms for 50 years - delusions, silliness and multiple personalities. He also believes he is a rabbit, and insists on sleeping under his deck foraging, and digging tunnels.

Finally, we were invited to Denver's annual "Amateur Skydiving Day," which features first-time jumpers leaping from a plane. Fortunately, most participants were a parachute. The gentleman pictured below felt one was not needed.

We hope to interview him once he is found.

UPDATE:

Greetings from Hays, Kansas where we have spent the weekend.

It's been a great Walk so far. Just as we have in prior years, we are walking along I-70W, with, of course, our spotters and security detail keeping us safe.

We have encountered no wild animals, horrible weather, or Gaza protestors. We had a brief scare when someone dressed in green carrying a butcher's knife quickly approached us. But the knife was actually a turkey leg he had purchased from a nearby festival.

Donations and pledges have steadily been coming. This weekend, Future Unicorns Of Kansas (F*K) presented us with a check for $375,000! Of course, we think their notion of becoming a unicorn is quite silly, but we didn't tell them.

Finally, tonight's entertainment was provided by the Fort Hayes State University Survivor Club, who sponsored a raw meat-eating contest.

The winner (pictured below) consumed a 32 ounce piece of raw ground chuck in four minutes! We were impressed!

Hello everyone! We are eight days into our walk and our settling in for the night.

We're in Cloverdale, Indiana, which is a small town West of Indianapolis.

Tonight, we were the guest of honor at the annual "Post-it Beauty Contest," which attracts contestants from all over the US. The winner (pictured below) designed her own dress from thousands of Post-it notes she "borrowed" from her employer.

Earlier in the day, the town of Cloverdale donated $150,000 to Groats Disease research, for which we are very appreciative.