The Intentional Therapist

Regulation is not a one size fits all. What works for my kiddo, may not for yours.

Adapt the skills to fit your needs and your child’s needs. Consider asking yourself the following questions to lean in or know where you need to take breaks in attempts to helping your kiddo(s) regulate.

😮‍💨 What are my triggers in parenting? And do I feel equipped to regulate myself when upset or do I often feel guilty for losing my cool?

😮‍💨 Do I feel the need to rush my kids along to regulation before they are ready?

😮‍💨 Do I validate, empathize and ask questions to ensure my kids feel heard even when they are dysregulated?

😮‍💨 Do I redirect myself and kids from trying to talk or problem solve when they are dysregulated?

😮‍💨 Are their skills I’ve practiced with my kid prior to the moment of needing them, and do I offer to do it with them or am I communicating like it’s all on them to regulate and “use their skills”?

😮‍💨 While resolving the conflict, am I communicating love and understanding or blame/guilt/shame? Am I discussing how they/I can improve next time, or just talking about what wasn’t okay?

😮‍💨 Do I conclude conflict with my kid by connecting with words or affection?

Disclaimer: this page is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only and should not be used to substitute or provide mental health services.

Bilateral Stimulation or BLS is a mouthful. But did you know…

🪴When we are emotionally dysregulated often due to anxiety or stress our brain can become what we refer to as emotionally flooded. Which basically means we cannot think or problem solve correctly because the right side of our brain has essentially hijacked our ability to do so?

🪴Bilateral Stimulation is the process of activating and alternating from left to right stimulation of your body. This can be done in a multitude of ways either 👁visually, 💪🏽kinesthetically or 🗣audial.

🪴Bilateral Stimulation serves as a tool to activate and the key word here is to “integrate” our 🧠 brain’s ability to work in tandem, where we are cognitively capable to problem solve and emotionally regulate! I like to say our brain is like a house who’s power goes out & BLS serves as the breaker box that provides a reset to get things back up & running the way they were designed.

🪴Some of the common ways to institute BLS include the “butterfly hug”, “angel hug” & my personal favorite, “feet tapping”. Additionally, check out Bilateral Stimulation: EMDR Music Therapy with a set of headphones on any music provider you prefer!

🪴Next time you are feeling anxious, stressed or merely have “brain fog”, I’d encourage you to try out one of these BLS methods!

Our thoughts and the words we say over ourselves, situations & others—either bring life or death, beauty or gloom, healing or brokenness.

Choose the better thing. Wonder more, worry less.