Maria Elisavetsky - Rodeo Realty Fine Estates

My beloved son Andy, as much as I don’t want to think about that unthinkable night when I found out you had died, those thoughts come back stronger at this time of the year since today is the 5th anniversary of your passing. This is my reality as much as I yearn to change it. The shock of such tragedy softens & diminishes as the years go by, but the longing to see u alive, to hug & kiss u, to talk to u it will never stop…The feeling of terribly missing u is never going to dwindle down…I just have to accept that u are physically not with us anymore, & still hurts like hell that this reality will never change. I never visited the cemetery where u are interred because that would be unbearable & somehow would make it even more painful & real… I always want to think of u as this vibrant, energetic, bubbly, adorable young man full of life & promise. Your laughter was the sound of joy with wings lifting mine & every spirit around u. Every time that comes to my mind that u are not with us anymore is like a dagger piercing my heart so I close my eyes & try to see your beautiful face smiling at me as if u were saying, I’m ok mom, trust the universe we will find each other again…Since u departed there is this underlying sadness in my life that will stay with me till I’m gone but my hope & dream is for us to somehow meet again in another life…You are on a journey of lives that I hope will bring us together at some point. This thought gives me comfort in the toughest times when I miss u so deeply that it hurts me to my core. You won’t be Andy my beloved son, I won’t be your mom either but somehow we will be drawn to each other maybe never realizing that we were mother/son in previous life, but being together will feel familiar & so good…Missing u miserably doesn’t even begin to describe the longing I have to see & talk to u, to hug u tight. Sometimes it hits me like a ton of bricks: Andy is dead, disbelief takes over & my heart skips a beat. This feeling of incompleteness will stay with me forever. I will always remember this day that u left to go on your eternal journey as the end of my life as I knew it. 💔 💔💔