The Living Source

“Say Yes.”

Within a week, I heard this guidance from 3 different leaders. But if you’re an overwhelmed, chronic over-doer, you might be feeling triggered reading these words.

You may have been doing your best to “Say No”. And now you’re remembering the stress, anxiety or worry you felt because you agreed to too many things.

I know that place where every part of you wants to just say no and feel good about saying it.

Believe me, this” Say Yes” guidance is totally aligned with your “Say No” plan.

Think of Yes and No as partners.

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆’𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒙𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔, 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚, 𝒘𝒆’𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒐 𝒕𝒐 𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔. It’s one of the most well-worn pathways to chronic stress and burnout.

Once we start saying no to self-neglect and draining our resources, we’re saying yes to what sustains us. That’s the “yes” we want.

Each of the leaders that I listened to encourage their audience to identify one small thing they could do to get closer to an important goal within the next week. When we’re stressed beyond our limit, small steps can make a big difference in our well-being and growth.

So, what’s your “Yes” and “No”?

It could be saying yes to naps and no to days where you don’t stop to recharge. Or maybe it’s no to working late nights at your computer and yes to a good book or audio bedtime story that brings you peaceful sleep. Or maybe there’s some support that you’re ready to say yes to while you say no to trying to handle it all alone.

What will it be? Please share your Yes and No in the comments.

𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐘𝐞𝐬 – 𝐍𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

My octogenarian Mama says when she was growing up, April Fool’s Day was one of her favorite days. She laughed thinking about the jokes she and her friends played on each other.

One of things I love about my Mama is her laugh. When she’s really tickled about something, she can’t get words out to describe what’s funny. Her laughter repeatedly interrupts her storytelling. In less that 60 seconds, you’re doubled over in laughter too.

Our conversation reminded me that April Fool’s Day and Stress Awareness Month have April 1 in common. Perhaps this is the making of great collaboration. We can kick off the month rediscovering how joy and connection with others are powerful resources for calming our nervous system.

This is akin to what Deb Dana calls “glimmers”, little moments that awaken our inner sense of well-being. We become aware that even in stressful times, peace, joy, a sense of safety are also available to us.

Dana says that glimmers have a cumulative effect. Noticing them throughout our day creates subtle shifts toward wellness in our body and mind. We become more familiar with the part of our nervous system that’s always there to nurture us and bring us ease.

What sparkling moments did you find in your day? Did something lead you to a deep belly laugh? Maybe a friend April-fooled you or you looked up after a storm and saw a rainbow.

Please tell us about them in the comments. Feel free to come back to the post any time to share your joys.

I used to teach yoga. Deepening my relationship with yoga was one of the ways that healed from burnout. One day after teaching a class, a yogi left me this handwritten message:

“𝘚𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘢…𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘢𝘨𝘦…𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴…𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶.”

I keep it on a bulletin board. It still warms my heart to read it. Feeling like a “whole package” was something that I lost when I burned out.

You may know this place. You reach the end of your day feeling exhausted, numb, disconnected, or even empty.

You’ve given so much during the day that you’re out of reserves. Yet, the next day, you drag yourself out of bed and do it all again.

For sure, this is pouring from an empty cup. And there’s another loss --- being out of touch with how life brings you meaning and how you bring meaning to life.

This loss often feels deeper, harder to recover from than physical fatigue. Yet, your connection with you is a rich energy source.

Practicing yoga was one of my tools for physical, mental, and emotional recovery. Teaching yoga brought me to moments like the one above. It sparked my memories of what really mattered to me and renewed my connection with my voice.

Join me Wednesday, November 20, at noon ET for Burnout Hiding in Plain Sight. We’ll talk about some patterns that lead to the disconnection from self often associated with burnout. We’ll explore some initial steps for reclaiming your spark.

Have you heard of Peak-performance coaching? Being an “Obsessed” entrepreneur? How about Highly-Sensitive leaders?

Did that last one throw you?

Don’t worry, my friend and colleague, Harris has an answer and resources for you.

Highly-sensitive leaders see potential where others don’t. They are artists, teachers, coaches, healers, and innovators who are emotionally in tune with the world around them.

This innovative way of leading has much to offer to creative projects, organizations, and the world. Monifa created the Voicing Your Vision Summit especially for this group of leaders. Whether you’re a solopreneur or leading a team, this program can provide you with valuable strategies.

At the 4th Annual Summit, speakers will share how you can:
😍 VALUE YOUR GENIUS: Know yourself better and gain confidence in your unique qualities.
🔥CREATE YOUR VISION: Prioritize your passion and purpose.
💯AMPLIFY YOUR MESSAGE: Cultivate effective messaging to connect you to the clients that you can best serve.

Sign up for FREE at: https://tinyurl.com/yourvoiceyourvision

I’m honored to speak on November 20, Day 1, where the theme is Free Your Voice. Join Monifa and I as we explore some inner resources to elevate your voice and sustain your commitment to the impact you want to make with your work.

Happy Equinox

The Sun and the Earth are doing their dance. The Equinox brings equal day and night to all of us, everywhere in the world.

Chronic stress, feeling overwhelmed, exhaustion, burnout are among the things that leave us feeling off balance. The Equinox is a perfect time to focus on what you need for equilibrium.

This time of year reminds us that everything has a complement. Dark and light. Up and down. Left and right. Fear and courage or fear and faith.

What’s on the other side of stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, or burnout for you? Calm, clarity, peace, informed energy, agency, faith, self-determination all come to mind.

Take a moment and feel into what’s on the other side for you. Then, use these questions to help you make a shift that brings you one step closer to feeling balanced.

What’s holding you in overwhelm, stress, or burnout?
What do you need to release?
What’s blossoming from efforts you made earlier in the year?
What shift can you make in an old pattern that no longer serves you?

Leave a comment to let me know what’s on the other side for you.

Last week I had an opportunity to spend time with two legendary women who changed our world, carving out space for diversity, dignity and harmony to thrive. One of them was Jennifer Jones , first African American Radio City Music Hall Rockette. Her courage, grace, dedication, and love for dance 💃🏿shattered a decades old barrier. Witnessing the impact her story had on students, future change agents, was deeply moving. Thank you so much, Jenn ♥️🙏🏿

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We were so fortunate to have Jennifer Jones come in last week to give a lecture presentation during common hour🦅⭐️✨