Making Room for Grief

I’m I the only one who feels like this, please tell me I’m not alone!

I wince everytime someone uses any expression with the word “died” e.g “OMG I DIE! “ “It was so funny, I died” I literally want to scream, no you did not my son actually died! So don’t loosely use the word!

I’ve also seen that when I also use the expression I feel embarrassed and crawl back to my shell… Do those two words trigger you aswell?

You know, after my son passed away, I couldn't stand those typical condolence messages anymore. The whole "RIP" thing just felt like a cruel reminder of what I'd lost, and honestly, I got really good at ignoring texts and avoiding people. So that first year went by in eerie silence.

But then, the one-year death anniversary arrived, and it was like my heart shattered all over again. I had to relive that painful day, the memories flooding back with a vengeance. I couldn't help but wonder how the 300 messages I received when he first passed had dwindled down to just four a year later. It made me so angry that it seemed like everyone had moved on, while I was still stuck in this never-ending grief, this bottomless pit in my heart.

I had to muster up all the courage I had left and reached out to my friends. I reminded them about my son's death anniversary and asked them to set an alarm on their phones, to remember that day, and to check in on me because I sure as hell wouldn't be okay when it rolled around again.

So, if anyone ever asks you that annoying question about how they can be there for you grieving, tell them this: set that darn alarm on your phone. Trust me, it means the world. When those messages started pouring in, it was like a lifeline. It helped me breathe a little easier, knowing that people hadn't completely forgotten about my grief.

[CHILD LOSS, GRIEF, DEATH]