Family Recovery Partners

"Innocent questions are rarely innocent." Have you asked one and your teen took it the wrong way? Were they defensive, angry, and then on the offensive? Were you on the receiving end of one and felt attacked?

The problem is that most of the time you have an ulterior motive, like fishing for information or easing your worry. Read my article on Kuel Life for a better approach.

Stop Asking ‘Innocent Questions’. Try Asking These Instead. Kuel Life Relationships Innocent questions are rarely innocent. They come with hopes, expectations and good intentions. Stop Asking ‘Innocent Questions’.

Do you say 'yes' when you mean 'no'? I've done it 100+ times: because I'm too tired, busy, or distracted to deal with you, and don't want to fight.

And I'm out of integrity if I do that. Not only do I resent you, I'm angry at myself for breaking my own rules and boundaries. The state of mind is more harmful to me than giving in.

It's happened in many aspects of my life. Nowhere do I regret it more than with my children. What did I teach them about relationships and life by saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'? What are you teaching *your* children?

They learn that if they can outlast you, they get what they want; that their own needs are more important than yours or anyone else's; that taking and self-gratification are the goal. It's normal for them to be self-centered this way. It's not productive for them to stay this way.

What's helpful is to nurture empathy, patience and gratitude in them. This will require more patience and skills on your part. If you'd like to explore that, contact me at [email protected]. It takes a village to raise kids... and their parents.

P. S. - While we had our moments, it wasn't so bad. When I improved my attitude and skills, life and parenting got easier. My kids are kind and generous adults. I'm proud of them every day.